I am still overjoyed with the miracle of my cat, being returns safely home. It has taken her about 4 weeks to return back to her normal self.
The weeks of preparing for Christmas were not the easiest this year.
When one of the family is dealing with emotional issues that are trauma related to Christmases past, it is difficult to find a new way to celebrate the holiday season. We want to support their journey of trying to finally deal with the pain of those memories and emotions. They want to overwin their pain and harmful reactions that they had in the past. They had tried to bury their trauma with anger and alcohol. Which never helps, and never works. This year they wanted help and support (with therapy) to break that circle of hurt and anger.
I had to wait for planning and preparation until the person was able to give me the "thumbs up" to continue. They had to be emotionally ready to deal with the flood of instinctive reactions that certain situations triggered.
It also meant that we didn't have alcohol in the house. It really brought to home how many traditions are related to having drinking involved. Not as the main issue, but it is most often there in the background, or as a handy (pun) thing to have around. Just to "soften" or "ease" us into the mood or spirit (pun) of the moment.
It breaks my heart to know that this person's connection to Christmas will always carry the scars of what happened in the past. That for them, it is not a season of joy, family and love. But a season of pain, fear, and rejection. I would want to run from those emotions also and try to numb myself, and my heart in whatever way I could.
So this year we cautiously tried to celebrate Christmas, while trying to honour and support our family member. It went ok, even with difficult moments, and situations that were unexpected. Step by step Christmas came into the home.
Christmas morning went well as gifts were exchanged and the family enjoyed being together.
Christmas dinner was the first big hurdle. We had discussed with the therapist who gave their okay to have A GLASS of wine with dinner. Which we did. And it stayed with that. The person did keep to that limit. During the rest of the holidays and New Year's Eve, it went even better than I had dared to hope.
My deepest respect for this person to work through those difficult moments, sober and strong. Even when they received very upsetting news, and were confronted with situations that greatly affect their career and future. My prayer is that they feel that they are supported and that I/we have grown in our respect for them.
For all the awkwardness and fear of saying or doing something that might trigger difficulties or traumas for them, it is with that caution that I enter the New Year. Knowing how fragile people are emotionally at the best of time, I can only take the coming year, a day at a time. These past months have taught me that we live moment by moment, and there is no guarantee of tomorrow. I can only pray that the coming year will be a year of healing, grace, and strength. Blessed New Year.
The weeks of preparing for Christmas were not the easiest this year.
When one of the family is dealing with emotional issues that are trauma related to Christmases past, it is difficult to find a new way to celebrate the holiday season. We want to support their journey of trying to finally deal with the pain of those memories and emotions. They want to overwin their pain and harmful reactions that they had in the past. They had tried to bury their trauma with anger and alcohol. Which never helps, and never works. This year they wanted help and support (with therapy) to break that circle of hurt and anger.
I had to wait for planning and preparation until the person was able to give me the "thumbs up" to continue. They had to be emotionally ready to deal with the flood of instinctive reactions that certain situations triggered.
It also meant that we didn't have alcohol in the house. It really brought to home how many traditions are related to having drinking involved. Not as the main issue, but it is most often there in the background, or as a handy (pun) thing to have around. Just to "soften" or "ease" us into the mood or spirit (pun) of the moment.
It breaks my heart to know that this person's connection to Christmas will always carry the scars of what happened in the past. That for them, it is not a season of joy, family and love. But a season of pain, fear, and rejection. I would want to run from those emotions also and try to numb myself, and my heart in whatever way I could.
So this year we cautiously tried to celebrate Christmas, while trying to honour and support our family member. It went ok, even with difficult moments, and situations that were unexpected. Step by step Christmas came into the home.
Christmas morning went well as gifts were exchanged and the family enjoyed being together.
Christmas dinner was the first big hurdle. We had discussed with the therapist who gave their okay to have A GLASS of wine with dinner. Which we did. And it stayed with that. The person did keep to that limit. During the rest of the holidays and New Year's Eve, it went even better than I had dared to hope.
My deepest respect for this person to work through those difficult moments, sober and strong. Even when they received very upsetting news, and were confronted with situations that greatly affect their career and future. My prayer is that they feel that they are supported and that I/we have grown in our respect for them.
For all the awkwardness and fear of saying or doing something that might trigger difficulties or traumas for them, it is with that caution that I enter the New Year. Knowing how fragile people are emotionally at the best of time, I can only take the coming year, a day at a time. These past months have taught me that we live moment by moment, and there is no guarantee of tomorrow. I can only pray that the coming year will be a year of healing, grace, and strength. Blessed New Year.
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