Gasp.
Breathe.
Let the emotions flow through me.
It is only the moment, not a forever feeling.
Yes, it is happening; and I knew it would. One day; has become today.
Youngest child. Now a young man. Needs loving shove to get him out of the "nest". He has the means and the skills. Just needs the courage to spread his wings. Our "nest" is tired, and needing space to make repairs, and renovate to accommodate our ageing lives. It's not possible to feel the lack of privacy and space with a grown person in the house. One that wants his own privacy and space to be himself. Has his own life, friends, relationships, and ways of living his life. It is beginning to rub, and irritate.
Don't misunderstand me. If he didn't have the means to support himself, I will be there. But he has a full-time job, own car, and "hotel mom and dad" for the rest of his needs and desires. But it stops, when he says that he wants to stay home at least another half year for the ease of going on holidays with his girlfriend and being able to have "fun". Sorry, but my home and my life is not meant for him to have as a convenience, and for his taking it easy.
I wish I had been the one to tell him, that it is time to prepare to leave within a set timeframe. A time frame, that will be a goal, and a challenge to meet. That makes clear to all, that this is going to happen, and it is to be reckoned with. The part I am struggling with, it that is was said to him; with hard words, and tired emotions. It was not how I would have told him, but the message essentially would have been the same. He was hurt by the choice of words but understands the message.
This is where finding my lessons is starting to come in.
What is said, and how it has been said, I cannot undo. I have to let go....and really let go.
It's now my coming lesson, not to "help" with finding a new home. NOT suggesting things, or leave hints, tips, or be full of well-meant advice. That has always been my nature. I am the "prepared" one. I have lists at the ready, searched the internet, or have "found" information. I am the one that is overly ready for anything and everything. This is to be his journey to prepare to leave. I am not packing his suitcase so to speak.
But my mother heart is straining at the thought of him going. Next lesson I am facing, is letting go and letting him go freely. I have to trust that he knows that I love him and that I believe that he is ready, more than ready to fly and be free.
I had always said that I wanted to raise my children to be young people who are independent and responsible people. Now comes the true test. To see if I have learned that lesson too.
Even with difficult things and moments like this; there are lessons to be found and to learn from them.
Breathe.
Let the emotions flow through me.
It is only the moment, not a forever feeling.
Yes, it is happening; and I knew it would. One day; has become today.
Youngest child. Now a young man. Needs loving shove to get him out of the "nest". He has the means and the skills. Just needs the courage to spread his wings. Our "nest" is tired, and needing space to make repairs, and renovate to accommodate our ageing lives. It's not possible to feel the lack of privacy and space with a grown person in the house. One that wants his own privacy and space to be himself. Has his own life, friends, relationships, and ways of living his life. It is beginning to rub, and irritate.
Don't misunderstand me. If he didn't have the means to support himself, I will be there. But he has a full-time job, own car, and "hotel mom and dad" for the rest of his needs and desires. But it stops, when he says that he wants to stay home at least another half year for the ease of going on holidays with his girlfriend and being able to have "fun". Sorry, but my home and my life is not meant for him to have as a convenience, and for his taking it easy.
I wish I had been the one to tell him, that it is time to prepare to leave within a set timeframe. A time frame, that will be a goal, and a challenge to meet. That makes clear to all, that this is going to happen, and it is to be reckoned with. The part I am struggling with, it that is was said to him; with hard words, and tired emotions. It was not how I would have told him, but the message essentially would have been the same. He was hurt by the choice of words but understands the message.
This is where finding my lessons is starting to come in.
What is said, and how it has been said, I cannot undo. I have to let go....and really let go.
It's now my coming lesson, not to "help" with finding a new home. NOT suggesting things, or leave hints, tips, or be full of well-meant advice. That has always been my nature. I am the "prepared" one. I have lists at the ready, searched the internet, or have "found" information. I am the one that is overly ready for anything and everything. This is to be his journey to prepare to leave. I am not packing his suitcase so to speak.
But my mother heart is straining at the thought of him going. Next lesson I am facing, is letting go and letting him go freely. I have to trust that he knows that I love him and that I believe that he is ready, more than ready to fly and be free.
I had always said that I wanted to raise my children to be young people who are independent and responsible people. Now comes the true test. To see if I have learned that lesson too.
Even with difficult things and moments like this; there are lessons to be found and to learn from them.
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