In the last while I have been having what I call "full circle" moments or events.
To me, these are incidents, or people that have come back into my life, after being gone, or had left my world. People that I have unfinished issues with. Not in the ominous sense, but in the sense that something is unfinished or incomplete. In my heart it feels like I still can't let go, or that they keep tugging at my emotions. Memories, and unfinished sentences, or conversations have kept floating in my mind through the years. Maybe silently waiting, hoping and praying that we can reunite, and finish this circle of entwinement for a good or bad reason.
In whatever way....but to complete the circle that we share.
My latest full circle situation is this:
This past week, 2 women who I care deeply about have re-entered my life. They had both gone off on their own paths; about 10 years ago. One because she needed a different type of friendship, other than what I was able to give to her...and was able to be to her. The other, because she was off on a new adventure of discovering herself, and trying to find a new relationships and was looking for her forever partner.
As they went each in their own direction, I always knew where they were, and how they were doing.
We had superficial contact through the years, but the deep bonds that we once had shared....were no longer there. I had to step back....and watch their lives from a distance.
A few months ago, I had a personal crisis, and was needing to talk to someone who knew my past, and the troubles that I had been fighting. My son wisely and lovingly pushed me into a chair, across the table, from one of these women. He knew much I had missed her....and felt that he had to intervene. That was a very awkward and difficult moment for her and I. Yet...it cracked both our hearts open....and cautiously we began to talk, and listen. Each to the other.
Yet there was a barrier, and hesitation from both sides. 3 weeks ago. Her father died, and she didn't know who to turn to. I had known her father, and the family history. She found the courage now this time...to call me...in her time of need and sorrow.
In the flurry of having to arrange the funeral...and all the commotion that goes with it....she needed space. I waited.
This past week, she had some space and time....and wanted to talk. Not coffee chit chat talk, but from the gut, pain, sorrow, and pure honest truth talk. And we did. For hours. On both sides. We not only talked the loss of loved ones, but also the loss of our friendship; and how we felt about it. Conclusion is that we both missed each other...and are wanting to reconnect in a better and more balanced way.
Now comes the full circle. These 2 women were also friends. We were a "3 musketeers" set of friends. Our friendships were deeply intertwined 10 years ago. Then the circle broke.
Friend # 2 just showed up Sunday on my doorstep. Literally. Her adventure and "forever" partner/husband were not what she had hoped for. For the past years she had struggled with an abusive marriage, and was ashamed and afraid to admit it. To herself, and to those around her. She finally broke away....and came "home". Back to her true circle of friends...and back to her roots. She had carried the burden of her shattered dream....and had not given herself the space and grace....to let her emotions go. When we first saw each other...eye to eye...I just grabbed her in my arms...she finally felt safe enough to wept for the broken dreams that she had to let go. I had my friend back. Emotionally bruised, and battered. But she had the courage also to be honest with herself, and me. Also again...we both would like to renew our connection. First she has to find her feet, and get her situation figured out. But the door is open between us...and we can be there for each other.
My heart is happy, and is wondering how amazing it is....that these to special ladies have re-entered and the circle is strangely and totally unexpectedly almost complete.
There is still one last step in completing this "circle" of friends....and that they both meet each other again. Then the "3 musketeers" are " all for one, and one for all".
Miracles can happen. Maybe this is one of them.
note: see blog on "YaYa's" ......
To me, these are incidents, or people that have come back into my life, after being gone, or had left my world. People that I have unfinished issues with. Not in the ominous sense, but in the sense that something is unfinished or incomplete. In my heart it feels like I still can't let go, or that they keep tugging at my emotions. Memories, and unfinished sentences, or conversations have kept floating in my mind through the years. Maybe silently waiting, hoping and praying that we can reunite, and finish this circle of entwinement for a good or bad reason.
In whatever way....but to complete the circle that we share.
My latest full circle situation is this:
This past week, 2 women who I care deeply about have re-entered my life. They had both gone off on their own paths; about 10 years ago. One because she needed a different type of friendship, other than what I was able to give to her...and was able to be to her. The other, because she was off on a new adventure of discovering herself, and trying to find a new relationships and was looking for her forever partner.
As they went each in their own direction, I always knew where they were, and how they were doing.
We had superficial contact through the years, but the deep bonds that we once had shared....were no longer there. I had to step back....and watch their lives from a distance.
A few months ago, I had a personal crisis, and was needing to talk to someone who knew my past, and the troubles that I had been fighting. My son wisely and lovingly pushed me into a chair, across the table, from one of these women. He knew much I had missed her....and felt that he had to intervene. That was a very awkward and difficult moment for her and I. Yet...it cracked both our hearts open....and cautiously we began to talk, and listen. Each to the other.
Yet there was a barrier, and hesitation from both sides. 3 weeks ago. Her father died, and she didn't know who to turn to. I had known her father, and the family history. She found the courage now this time...to call me...in her time of need and sorrow.
In the flurry of having to arrange the funeral...and all the commotion that goes with it....she needed space. I waited.
This past week, she had some space and time....and wanted to talk. Not coffee chit chat talk, but from the gut, pain, sorrow, and pure honest truth talk. And we did. For hours. On both sides. We not only talked the loss of loved ones, but also the loss of our friendship; and how we felt about it. Conclusion is that we both missed each other...and are wanting to reconnect in a better and more balanced way.
Now comes the full circle. These 2 women were also friends. We were a "3 musketeers" set of friends. Our friendships were deeply intertwined 10 years ago. Then the circle broke.
Friend # 2 just showed up Sunday on my doorstep. Literally. Her adventure and "forever" partner/husband were not what she had hoped for. For the past years she had struggled with an abusive marriage, and was ashamed and afraid to admit it. To herself, and to those around her. She finally broke away....and came "home". Back to her true circle of friends...and back to her roots. She had carried the burden of her shattered dream....and had not given herself the space and grace....to let her emotions go. When we first saw each other...eye to eye...I just grabbed her in my arms...she finally felt safe enough to wept for the broken dreams that she had to let go. I had my friend back. Emotionally bruised, and battered. But she had the courage also to be honest with herself, and me. Also again...we both would like to renew our connection. First she has to find her feet, and get her situation figured out. But the door is open between us...and we can be there for each other.
My heart is happy, and is wondering how amazing it is....that these to special ladies have re-entered and the circle is strangely and totally unexpectedly almost complete.
There is still one last step in completing this "circle" of friends....and that they both meet each other again. Then the "3 musketeers" are " all for one, and one for all".
Miracles can happen. Maybe this is one of them.
note: see blog on "YaYa's" ......
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