A more positive week.
Feel like I can breath deeper, and more freely. The weight in my heart is less; it has shifted from dead center, off to the side.
My session with the therapist was helpful. She reminded me of the progress I have made in the last 6 months, and that the issues I am dealing with; are being conquered. At times it still seems if I haven't progressed, but I have to accept that life is like an ocean....waves going back and forth, some big, some small, storm, wind still (doldrums-what a perfect word for when everything is at a dead stop).
But the overview of the ocean, to me is one of an amazing place to be, with all it's magical, and majestic beauty. I think I would like to use the visual of my life....as an ocean. Will make more notes and journal more about this idea.
I feel at the moment a creative bubble....saying to myself that I would like to make a mood board/collage....about this concept. My life = ocean.
That already in itself is a huge thing. Haven't felt that creative urge in ages. Literally more than 2 years....I have a canvas in the corner of my room that is perfect for that.
The other thing that came to the foreground and was a difficult thing to realize....was her question of " what do I miss in my life at the moment?"
To my sadness, it is the realization that I haven't been able to laugh for such a long time. I don't mean the light haha laugh, but the "I can't catch my breath laugh, drop to your knees, and also pee yourself" laugh. The ones where your eyes water, and your cheeks are sore from laughing so much.
I used to be the prankster, up for a joke, and could "pun" away an evening with my BFF.
I miss the relief and joy of being able to be so in the moment, to let go and just explode with joy and hilarity.
That is also on my "homework" list for the coming while.
My therapist gave me several tips on how to loosen up, and try to give myself more space (physically and mentally) to be more open to just being, and receptive to life....my life...and the opportunities in it.
The other good thing this week, is that it is officially "spring". Thankfully mother nature is also exactly on time with that grand entrance. All the crocuses are blooming, and fields of daffodils are bang on time, just as Easter desires.
I so love the color, and the feeling of sunshine warming me completely. Inside and out.
Actually looking forward to the coming days. That in itself is a wonderful thing.
Feel like I can breath deeper, and more freely. The weight in my heart is less; it has shifted from dead center, off to the side.
My session with the therapist was helpful. She reminded me of the progress I have made in the last 6 months, and that the issues I am dealing with; are being conquered. At times it still seems if I haven't progressed, but I have to accept that life is like an ocean....waves going back and forth, some big, some small, storm, wind still (doldrums-what a perfect word for when everything is at a dead stop).
But the overview of the ocean, to me is one of an amazing place to be, with all it's magical, and majestic beauty. I think I would like to use the visual of my life....as an ocean. Will make more notes and journal more about this idea.
I feel at the moment a creative bubble....saying to myself that I would like to make a mood board/collage....about this concept. My life = ocean.
That already in itself is a huge thing. Haven't felt that creative urge in ages. Literally more than 2 years....I have a canvas in the corner of my room that is perfect for that.
The other thing that came to the foreground and was a difficult thing to realize....was her question of " what do I miss in my life at the moment?"
To my sadness, it is the realization that I haven't been able to laugh for such a long time. I don't mean the light haha laugh, but the "I can't catch my breath laugh, drop to your knees, and also pee yourself" laugh. The ones where your eyes water, and your cheeks are sore from laughing so much.
I used to be the prankster, up for a joke, and could "pun" away an evening with my BFF.
I miss the relief and joy of being able to be so in the moment, to let go and just explode with joy and hilarity.
That is also on my "homework" list for the coming while.
My therapist gave me several tips on how to loosen up, and try to give myself more space (physically and mentally) to be more open to just being, and receptive to life....my life...and the opportunities in it.
The other good thing this week, is that it is officially "spring". Thankfully mother nature is also exactly on time with that grand entrance. All the crocuses are blooming, and fields of daffodils are bang on time, just as Easter desires.
I so love the color, and the feeling of sunshine warming me completely. Inside and out.
Actually looking forward to the coming days. That in itself is a wonderful thing.
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