September has been a month that has been emotional, and making me confront myself about "keeping a stiff upper lip" for too long.
I finally broke, and am asking for help from my family, friends, and therapy.
The last while, my soul has been unable to find rest, light, comfort, unable to take a good deep breath. Events, emotions, and being unable to re charge myself, has resulted in my depression.
I don't feel like I am going to "step out", or end things. I feel more like wanting to curl up into a silent hole, retreat, and withdraw from life for a while. In a sense, wanting to run away from everything, and everyone that " wants or needs" something from me. Giving to others and not giving to myself has resulted in my depletion.
I am constantly sighing mentally and physically, because everything in me is gasping for air, oxygen, space in my heart, lungs, and mind. I feel like I am suffocating externally, and internally.
The coming time I have no idea as to what happens. That in itself is already thinking and worrying about too much.
It is back to turning to myself, and see, feel, and DO what I need to for healing myself, and finding me again.
It may seem like a confused blog, but it is an accurate insight as to how confused, and bewildered I feel at the moment.
There are things that still make me smile, and those are what carry me during the difficult times.
I finally broke, and am asking for help from my family, friends, and therapy.
The last while, my soul has been unable to find rest, light, comfort, unable to take a good deep breath. Events, emotions, and being unable to re charge myself, has resulted in my depression.
I don't feel like I am going to "step out", or end things. I feel more like wanting to curl up into a silent hole, retreat, and withdraw from life for a while. In a sense, wanting to run away from everything, and everyone that " wants or needs" something from me. Giving to others and not giving to myself has resulted in my depletion.
I am constantly sighing mentally and physically, because everything in me is gasping for air, oxygen, space in my heart, lungs, and mind. I feel like I am suffocating externally, and internally.
The coming time I have no idea as to what happens. That in itself is already thinking and worrying about too much.
It is back to turning to myself, and see, feel, and DO what I need to for healing myself, and finding me again.
It may seem like a confused blog, but it is an accurate insight as to how confused, and bewildered I feel at the moment.
There are things that still make me smile, and those are what carry me during the difficult times.
Comments
Post a Comment