Complications and tensions in the family.
Sadly, we are in the middle of a situation that overcomes almost everyone, at one time or another in our lives.
It can tear families apart, bring old hurts to the surface, and destroy relationships between family members.
When a family member dies, and the estate has to be dealt with. It can go horribly wrong. When a testament is vague, out of date, or incomplete it has the potential for difficult situations, decisions, and results.
In my years of working in the service of funeral planning; I cannot stress enough to everyone, young or old to start making notes and document your desires, wishes, and directions now. Make it known to your family, next of kin, a friend or whom ever you can trust. Write it in a notebook just for yourself. You can always change it, adjust it, and expand it. It is not being morbid, it is not being doom and gloom. Life gives only one certainty...we are all going to die.
To me, and with my experience and observations of what happens when the last wishes are not clear to family....there is so much added pain, stress, upheaval, and burdens that are put on the grieving.
What is more comforting, and truly honoring and clear, as to instructions as to what has to be done. How material things are to be dealt with.
While we are healthy of body and mind, it is a more clear moment to think, plan, and carefully decide the last practical part of one's life and possessions. If you are unwell, and already amid the emotional stress of poor health; it makes it more stressful, energy draining, and emotionally heavy trying to plan, and decide about these things.
My heart breaks for my in-law family. Because we are being confronted with this emotional situation. The testament was incomplete, and not clear about many things. Siblings are now fighting each other; and making it even more complicated and hurtful than ever imagined.
I am ever grateful that my parents both had the foresight to have testaments, and also had written detailed directions as to their last wishes and directions as to how to complete, finish off, and close the last chapters of their lives. That made our family one, a unit, and team who knew what to do. No second guessing, no discussion about other choices. It was simply black on white....and to honor them, we did as they requested.
(http://www.detsparlaw.com/Docs/estate-planning-organizer.pdf) as an example to start off with thinking about things and writing basic information down.
I have made my wishes known to my notebook. My husband and children know where it is. I have made changes, adjustments and suggestions. I hope to keep it actual, and up to date; so that when I die; they can read and proceed with what is necessary. It is my way of lovingly guiding them through the difficult times of saying the final farewell.
Family needs to stay together and support each other in times of grief. Not be ripped apart because of grief.
Sadly, we are in the middle of a situation that overcomes almost everyone, at one time or another in our lives.
It can tear families apart, bring old hurts to the surface, and destroy relationships between family members.
When a family member dies, and the estate has to be dealt with. It can go horribly wrong. When a testament is vague, out of date, or incomplete it has the potential for difficult situations, decisions, and results.
In my years of working in the service of funeral planning; I cannot stress enough to everyone, young or old to start making notes and document your desires, wishes, and directions now. Make it known to your family, next of kin, a friend or whom ever you can trust. Write it in a notebook just for yourself. You can always change it, adjust it, and expand it. It is not being morbid, it is not being doom and gloom. Life gives only one certainty...we are all going to die.
To me, and with my experience and observations of what happens when the last wishes are not clear to family....there is so much added pain, stress, upheaval, and burdens that are put on the grieving.
What is more comforting, and truly honoring and clear, as to instructions as to what has to be done. How material things are to be dealt with.
While we are healthy of body and mind, it is a more clear moment to think, plan, and carefully decide the last practical part of one's life and possessions. If you are unwell, and already amid the emotional stress of poor health; it makes it more stressful, energy draining, and emotionally heavy trying to plan, and decide about these things.
My heart breaks for my in-law family. Because we are being confronted with this emotional situation. The testament was incomplete, and not clear about many things. Siblings are now fighting each other; and making it even more complicated and hurtful than ever imagined.
I am ever grateful that my parents both had the foresight to have testaments, and also had written detailed directions as to their last wishes and directions as to how to complete, finish off, and close the last chapters of their lives. That made our family one, a unit, and team who knew what to do. No second guessing, no discussion about other choices. It was simply black on white....and to honor them, we did as they requested.
(http://www.detsparlaw.com/Docs/estate-planning-organizer.pdf) as an example to start off with thinking about things and writing basic information down.
I have made my wishes known to my notebook. My husband and children know where it is. I have made changes, adjustments and suggestions. I hope to keep it actual, and up to date; so that when I die; they can read and proceed with what is necessary. It is my way of lovingly guiding them through the difficult times of saying the final farewell.
Family needs to stay together and support each other in times of grief. Not be ripped apart because of grief.
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