First of all it is a day of happiness. My son has his birthday. 26th. Even as old as he is...he will always be my first born, my baby; in my heart. What stands before me, is an incredible man. Sensitive, responsible, caring, passionate, honest, loving; and knows his mind and lives by the golden rule of do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
Last evening, as the year drew to a close; I was very emotional. It felt like all the drama, sadness, and difficult moments came by for a final curtaincall. Passing before my eyes, and walking through my heart. Farewells, deaths, and worrying circumstances marched in, and saluted, and thankfully marched off again. The curtain came down on 2014. It is a year that was one that is not on my list of "top 10". A year that changed my life, and who I am, in many ways.
The final closing act of 2014, was that my precious cat, escaped in the morning and was no where to be found as the evening set in. Here in Holland, we are famous for our spectacular fireworks at midnight. Literally the country explodes with Disney like fireworks to bring in the New Year. I was in a panic, knowing that my cat was outside, and was going to be exposed to this. As the almost violent New Year arrived, I was inconsolable. Thinking about Tinka, and if she would ever survive it, or she would panic, and run away...and never return. This New Year started with tears, and not with joy and anticipation. More with dread, and a sinking feeling that I had yet lost another loved one in the last minutes of 2014.
Hours went by, as I constantly went outdoors to call her. Finally exhausted I went to bed at 3 am. Hubby did a final round of securing the house. As he paused at the front door, he opened it one last time, and Tinka roared into the house. She had survived, and returned. Without saying anything, he picked her up....and brought her up to our room. Only opened the door, and dropped a very stressed, wired, and fluffy version of Tinka onto our bed. Once again, my floodgates opened, but tears of joy and relief.
I am turning this into a positive lesson. If Tinka can get through a hell of a New Year's eve...with all the fireworks, noise, fear, and panic she must have felt...and come home safe and unharmed....I too will get through the hell of a year 2014...come home, and begin my new year 2015 also intact, maybe slightly ruffled and rough for wear...but will continue on in good hope and faith that 2015 will be a good year, and that I too will survive...like Tinka. She is my " good sign" ...for the coming year.
Last evening, as the year drew to a close; I was very emotional. It felt like all the drama, sadness, and difficult moments came by for a final curtaincall. Passing before my eyes, and walking through my heart. Farewells, deaths, and worrying circumstances marched in, and saluted, and thankfully marched off again. The curtain came down on 2014. It is a year that was one that is not on my list of "top 10". A year that changed my life, and who I am, in many ways.
The final closing act of 2014, was that my precious cat, escaped in the morning and was no where to be found as the evening set in. Here in Holland, we are famous for our spectacular fireworks at midnight. Literally the country explodes with Disney like fireworks to bring in the New Year. I was in a panic, knowing that my cat was outside, and was going to be exposed to this. As the almost violent New Year arrived, I was inconsolable. Thinking about Tinka, and if she would ever survive it, or she would panic, and run away...and never return. This New Year started with tears, and not with joy and anticipation. More with dread, and a sinking feeling that I had yet lost another loved one in the last minutes of 2014.
Hours went by, as I constantly went outdoors to call her. Finally exhausted I went to bed at 3 am. Hubby did a final round of securing the house. As he paused at the front door, he opened it one last time, and Tinka roared into the house. She had survived, and returned. Without saying anything, he picked her up....and brought her up to our room. Only opened the door, and dropped a very stressed, wired, and fluffy version of Tinka onto our bed. Once again, my floodgates opened, but tears of joy and relief.
I am turning this into a positive lesson. If Tinka can get through a hell of a New Year's eve...with all the fireworks, noise, fear, and panic she must have felt...and come home safe and unharmed....I too will get through the hell of a year 2014...come home, and begin my new year 2015 also intact, maybe slightly ruffled and rough for wear...but will continue on in good hope and faith that 2015 will be a good year, and that I too will survive...like Tinka. She is my " good sign" ...for the coming year.
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