The circle of life.
In our family we are really feeling and experiencing that the cycle of life, is coming around again.
By that I mean, our parents are getting old. My parents have passed on. Dad four years ago, and mom died 6 months ago. Both were well into their 80's. Yet it is a huge loss, and even at my age, I feel like an orphan at times. No matter how old we are, our parents are our eternal mom and dad. For me they will never be old in my thoughts or memories; but vital, full of life and activity, and as I remember their faces and expressions....always full of love and kindness.
Last evening we were informed that my mother-in-law has been admitted into hospital, with serious and life threatening health issues. We had sensed a general decline over the last year, but were not able to put a finger on it. She is an incredibly strong willed woman, who refuses to admit that something is wrong, or that she is ill. In all the 40 years that I have been a part of the family, I have only HEARD of her being bed ridden, flat out sick; twice. That was with bad flu, and dizzy spells. Now she is unable to mask her weakness, and frailties.
I honestly admit, it makes me uncertain as to how to be with her, and how to be there for her. Her wall of independence, and total control over every situation is now broken, and unstable. I do not want her to feel vulnerable, or exposed. Suddenly she is having to submit to the care of others, and that she has little or no privacy, and most concerning, is that we, as family see her in this situation. Literally exposed, and naked; so to speak. I have never seen her without makeup, jewellery, and every hair in place. For both of us, this will be a very emotional, raw moment.
Sadly there are unresolved issues within the family. They too will come into play during this phase. Each has to decide as to what to do, and to be certain that they have peace with it, and with the outcome of their choices. No judgements, but individual decisions that will be definite. A very immense thought.
My only hope and prayer is that each person that is involved in this; gives respect and dignity to the other; and that together we help each other with this last phase in this circle of life.
In our family we are really feeling and experiencing that the cycle of life, is coming around again.
By that I mean, our parents are getting old. My parents have passed on. Dad four years ago, and mom died 6 months ago. Both were well into their 80's. Yet it is a huge loss, and even at my age, I feel like an orphan at times. No matter how old we are, our parents are our eternal mom and dad. For me they will never be old in my thoughts or memories; but vital, full of life and activity, and as I remember their faces and expressions....always full of love and kindness.
Last evening we were informed that my mother-in-law has been admitted into hospital, with serious and life threatening health issues. We had sensed a general decline over the last year, but were not able to put a finger on it. She is an incredibly strong willed woman, who refuses to admit that something is wrong, or that she is ill. In all the 40 years that I have been a part of the family, I have only HEARD of her being bed ridden, flat out sick; twice. That was with bad flu, and dizzy spells. Now she is unable to mask her weakness, and frailties.
I honestly admit, it makes me uncertain as to how to be with her, and how to be there for her. Her wall of independence, and total control over every situation is now broken, and unstable. I do not want her to feel vulnerable, or exposed. Suddenly she is having to submit to the care of others, and that she has little or no privacy, and most concerning, is that we, as family see her in this situation. Literally exposed, and naked; so to speak. I have never seen her without makeup, jewellery, and every hair in place. For both of us, this will be a very emotional, raw moment.
Sadly there are unresolved issues within the family. They too will come into play during this phase. Each has to decide as to what to do, and to be certain that they have peace with it, and with the outcome of their choices. No judgements, but individual decisions that will be definite. A very immense thought.
My only hope and prayer is that each person that is involved in this; gives respect and dignity to the other; and that together we help each other with this last phase in this circle of life.
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