Breathing hurts because the pain of losing loved ones is so deep in my heart, that my lungs are in shock. Every breath is in the same time... a prayer.
For those who are now in heaven (which I believe with my whole soul and being), and those of us, who are missing them.
When I love, I love deeply ... and letting go is body bashing and soul crushing.
I have had to "let go".... 5 times in the last 5 months.
I wonder, if I will ever run out of tears. But I guess with every beat of my heart, and the memory of love, refreshes the well of tears.
Trying to find some sense or space to begin to accept all what has happened, is not within my reach at the moment.
As Christmas approaches, the core of myself wants to celebrate the love of God, and the gift that He gave us. Yet, with my grief, I am uncomfortable, uncertain, and in many ways emotional, and also mad with my questions, and pain.
Today I will take it hour by hour, and try to be gentle with myself, and my grief. I am trusting on the promise, that my prayers will be heard, and even if I can't voice things, God will understand every sigh, and tear that I have.
For those who are now in heaven (which I believe with my whole soul and being), and those of us, who are missing them.
When I love, I love deeply ... and letting go is body bashing and soul crushing.
I have had to "let go".... 5 times in the last 5 months.
I wonder, if I will ever run out of tears. But I guess with every beat of my heart, and the memory of love, refreshes the well of tears.
Trying to find some sense or space to begin to accept all what has happened, is not within my reach at the moment.
As Christmas approaches, the core of myself wants to celebrate the love of God, and the gift that He gave us. Yet, with my grief, I am uncomfortable, uncertain, and in many ways emotional, and also mad with my questions, and pain.
Today I will take it hour by hour, and try to be gentle with myself, and my grief. I am trusting on the promise, that my prayers will be heard, and even if I can't voice things, God will understand every sigh, and tear that I have.
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